Sunday, December 14, 2003

By Bob Hoover, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Things are not all that bad for single guys facing Pittsburgh's conservative social mores.

	John Beale, Post-Gazette Tom Lipinski, who's just turning 50, says being an author is an advantage when meeting potential dates. Click photo for larger image.

"Folks in Pittsburgh don't like it when you're alone," said Tom Lipinski. "They think you should be with someone, especially if you've been married, so they're always coming up with women for me to date.

"I don't know how many times I've been told, 'Tom, I've got the perfect girl for you,' " he said.

Since his divorce 10 years ago, Lipinski's dated on "a fairly regular basis" and has had several long-term relationships. His dates are usually recommended by friends.

"I don't claim to go out every Saturday night, but I go out a couple of times a month."

Lipinski also has an advantage -- he's a novelist, with four mystery books to his name. His latest, "Death in the Steel City," was named best original paperback mystery two years ago by Private Eye Writers of America.

"I've met a good many women through the books," he confessed. "Writers call it 'book nooky,' not that I've taken advantage of it that much."

Lipinski divides his time between Edinboro, where he teaches writing at the state university there, and his home in Brookline. "It gets kind of lonely up there," he said, "so I go back and forth pretty often."

His single status is known among his campus colleagues, though. Visiting nearby Slippery Rock University a few weeks ago, Lipinski again heard the "Have I got the woman for you" line.

After his divorce, he tried a local dating service and was soon going out frequently.

"They had a lot of women signed up for it and not too many men, so that worked out real well for me," Lipinski said.

"I do think it's easier for middle-aged guys to have a social life in Pittsburgh than it is for women. And again, that's because of its conservative nature. People are on the lookout for you if you're a man alone."

Still, as a female friend told him, "If you want to be out there dating in Pittsburgh, it might take a little effort, but you can do it."

He also experimented with the bar scene but has shelved that route. "At my age, I can't drink very much anymore."

Approaching his 50th year, Lipinski admits that he's thinking about settling down. "I'm not actively pursuing anyone right now, but I do think it's time for me to look for the perfect woman. I don't think it's time for me to settle for less, though.

"While I don't have a biological clock, I do have a heart -- and that's going to go out on me someday."

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