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So apparently there's something of an annual shindig happening around town on Saturday and if you've partaken in the past, stop us when this sounds familiar: Sunday morning, Jameson and Guinness practically oozing from your eyeballs, streaks of green facepaint on your cheeks, hoarse from screaming your own made-up lyrics to the "Wild Rover" and mystery credit card receipts in your back pocket.
No? Just us? Sure thing, Seamus.
Regardless of your level of celebration (or inebriation) and whether you're a Sheehan or a Shaheen, a Donnelly or a Donelli, the St. Patrick's Parade brings out the latent green in Pittsburghers, and actual Irishmen or McAmateurs-for-a-day will need some sustenance come Sunday. Here are a few spots where you can nurse yourself back to sobriety or keep the party going until Monday -- the real Lá Fhéile Pádraig.
GET ME TO THE GREASE
Containing cysteine, the amino acid that breaks down the toxin acetyldehyde -- a.k.a. the bad stuff in booze -- eggs are one of the few food items that actually, chemically relieve hangovers. So if you're really suffering you're at the right place, if that place happens to be Eggs 'R Us (2350 Noblestown Road, West End). It's the quintessential steak-and-egg diner, but don't be afraid to wander away from the proteins and toward the chocolate chip banana pancakes.
Joe's Rusty Nail (560 Lincoln Ave., Bellevue) is a neighborhood favorite -- seating is at premium on Sundays both because of the size of the place, but also its generations-in-the-making popularity. Line cooks there have been slinging breakfast eggs, hash and hotcakes at Joe's for 35 years; the proprietors say there has been a restaurant at that address since 1926. As Munch noted a decade ago, "It's a place you can still walk in and get 'One Country Egg.' " How does that differ from one city egg? It plays the banjo.
Saturday you'll be crushing Car Bombs with a mush dyed green from food coloring in cheap beer. Sunday you'll try to regain an air of respectability, so in the spirit of the holiday, how about some potatoes and corned beef? Check out the Cornerstone Restaurant (301 Freeport Road, Aspinwall) for its interesting "potato benny" -- eggs benedict without the English muffin. Instead, the familiar poached-egg-and-hollandaise-dish is served between two potato pancakes, and topped with corned beef. Not a corned beef fan? There's duck confit risotto and lobster omelets on the brunch menu, too.
Following a night of overindulgence on the South Side, you'll find it looking shockingly different in the harsh light of the morning (and minus the dopes wearing T-shirts encouraging amorous activity predicated on tenuous claims of Irish lineage). To that end, Stagioni (2104 E. Carson St., South Side) can ease your agony with erudite hair-of-the-dog drinks, like their Prosecco cocktail with Mirto, lemon and sugar along with Italian-influenced treats like Ricotta pancakes with maple syrup and mascarpone or spicy potato hash with over easy eggs, sausage or pancetta, and grilled bread. Besides, St. Patrick was (sort of) Italian, too.
If you wake up looking like Rust Cohle circa 2012 and can't get out of bed before noon, that's just fine by Round Corner Cantina (3720 Butler St., Lawrenceville), which is open noon-3 p.m. Sundays. They serve a nice boozy brunch here -- nobody under 21 is allowed in, even on Sundays -- with equal emphasis on the food and cocktails. Munch's favorites: The Chorizo scramble plate paired with the tequila-based Bloody Maria.
Benjamin's (900 Western Ave., Allegheny West) has an inspired build-your-own-Bloody Mary bar featuring five top shelf vodkas or Smirnoff infusions like ginger, fennel and habanero-orange to go with goodies like the Hangover Helper: a corn bread waffle, slow roasted pork bbq, cheddar cheese, fried egg, and bacon fat home fries. Nap not included.
Pondering your route to recuperation? Spinach? Avocado? Wheat bagels? Diced fruit? Mushroom crepes? Then Caffe Mona (4200 Penn Ave., Bloomfield) is the spot to be if you wish to stop punishing your body with potatoes and bacon, and start nourishing it. But don't worry, the menu isn't fully fun-free -- check out the Elvis crepe (bananas, peanut butter, bacon, maple syrup).
Finally, the Zenith (86 S. 26th St., South Side) offers heaping helpings of fresh veggies inside of a campy antique parlor. A mere $11.50 buys all-you-can-eat fruit and-vegetables from the buffet and a choice of entree, such as a lentil patty with curry potatoes and apple chutney or the Polamalu Wrap (black beans, rice, pineapple, yellow peppers, coconut and onions). While you're there, stop and say a prayer at their Steelers shrine, because based on last season, they might need it come September.
Dan Gigler: dgigler@post-gazette; @gigs412; Bill Toland: email@example.com; @btoland _pg; Munch: @PGMunch.
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