DEAR NATALIE: I will be attending a summer wedding in July. I am enthralled with royalty and just love the way Duchess Catherine looks with her many tiaras. I recently purchased a tiara. It is not cheap, but then again it does not need to go in a vault! I would like to get my hair done and wear it to the wedding. But my friends say no, as it would show up the bride. I have no idea (and will not know until the day of the wedding) how the bride is wearing her hair or what kind of hairpiece she will be wearing. I am not in the wedding party, these are not close friends, and I will probably be sitting at a table by the kitchen. Would it be wrong of me to wear my tiara? Is that showing up the bride? — LADY IN WAITING
DEAR LADY IN WAITING: As much as you may love the idea of looking like a duchess for the day, even Catherine would not wear her tiara to someone else’s wedding. Why? It’s tacky. It doesn’t matter where you sit or how well you know the bride. It isn’t proper to wear white to someone else’s wedding and a tiara falls into the same category.
This event is about a celebration of two people’s love and commitment to each other, and as much as you may want to wear a tiara, this just isn’t the right time or place. Save your crown for another day and allow the bride to be the star of this show.
DEAR NATALIE: I want to expose my pathetic ex-boyfriend for what he really is. He has quite the ego and considers himself essentially a gift to women. Needless to say, what he does behind closed doors is very different from his ego. His name is [deleted], and he’s from New York. He’s not as cocky as he comes off in public, either.
I found out relatively soon into our relationship that he has quite a kink. Something about that turned him into Jell-O. He likes when women take control. That said, in public he’s completely different and acts like God’s gift to the female race. Little does the public know he grovels at their feet behind closed doors. Can you help me expose him? His cell is [deleted] and his email is [deleted] and his Twitter is @[deleted] — THE EX
DEAR EX: I don’t care what your ex liked in private. What I want to know is, why did you send me this letter? Why would you send a total stranger such personal information — including his email, phone number and social media handle? Instead of exposing your ex-boyfriend for being “pathetic” all you have managed to do is make yourself look petty and mean-spirited.
The advice I have to give has nothing to do with your ex or his interests, but instead it has everything to do with you. Take a good look in the mirror and question why you would want to hurt someone so publicly especially when you already have broken off with him. If you didn’t want to be with him, then move on. Instead, you seem to be the one hung up on your past.
In this New Year, make a conscious decision to not worry so much what others are doing, and instead look to yourself as a source of happiness and contentment. We cannot control what people do around us. We can only control our reaction. And let me just say, that was a pretty ugly one on your part.
Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Be discerning with whom you associate. We all have limited time on our hand; don’t waste it with people who are only trying to bring you down. Some people don’t want to see others succeed, and being around them will only become a toxic force in your life. Make this the year to fly free from those who would rather clip your wings.
Natalie Bencivenga is the Post-Gazette’s Seen and society editor. She has a master’s degree in social work from the University of Pittsburgh. Need advice? Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow Natalie on Twitter @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci.