Helping a separated friend

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Helping a separated friend

Tuesday, December 19, 2000

You can help a friend by following these guidelines adapted from Surviving Separation & Divorce:

Offer kind gestures. Drop off a cheer-up gift of bubble bath, cookies or tea. Even a home-cooked meal says you care.

Provide companionship. Holidays and birthdays are hard those first years. Have your divorcing friend over, or take in a movie together.

Call daily. A phone call or a little note amidst all the nasty legal phone calls and constant bills goes a long way.

Help with objectivity. When overwhelmed, no one is qualified to make too many important decisions. As a sounding board, you can help your separated friend see the logical steps to take.

Share. To ease financial burdens, offer clothing your children have outgrown. Provide baby-sitting to save that expense. Little things like these add up, and presented as friendly gestures, they won't affect pride.

Intervene. If your friend's emotional condition worsens, call his or her doctor, therapist or alert other friends to check in.

-- Loriann Hoff Oberlin