 
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Transgendered people do not suffer society's scorn just for a whim
Wednesday, February 02, 2000
Why? Why? Why? That's the question we keep asking ourselves." That muted cry from a handsome businessman across the luncheon table from me wasn't some offhand expression of frustration. The speaker was an example of a singularity in our society - a transvestite or cross-dresser, as these persons prefer to call themselves.
He and men and women like him yearn to dress in the clothing of the opposite sex. In fear for their jobs or relations with their families, usually they do so at home in private or at club gatherings. Some men may wear women's underclothing even to work. Many are heterosexual, not gay or lesbian, and married. That puts these cross-dressers in an anomalous position not just with the heterosexual world but also with gays and lesbians and transsexuals (those surgically changing their gender).
But recently, in Pittsburgh at least, the groups have begun coordinating their efforts, realizing how much in common they have in combating prejudice.
In extensive conversations with members of transgender groups, one learns how long and painful the process has been for recognizing their particular uniqueness, accepting it or doing something about it. For most, the answer to the "why? why? why?" question facing them, relatives and a skeptical public is "biology" or "genetics."
That is, for some reason, destiny has put into the body of a man the characteristics of a female and vice versa for a woman. There comes a realization that their situation is a given, just as color is for African Americans.
One has only to listen to the life stories of transgendered people and realize the pain and questioning, the hatred and prejudice they have gone through to accept this outburst from one: "Why would anyone go through this hell just on a whim?" Attempted suicides, shunning by their families, divorces, firings, verbal and even physical assaults are the woes that come pouring out.
That brings us to transsexuals. These are the men and women going through a long process, including costly surgery, to change their sex. Again, there are stories of years of anguish, starting in childhood when a boy might be told he was heading for "eternity in hellfire" for wanting to wear dresses. One male-to-female told of serving in the armed forces, engaging in sports, marrying - "all of the things you do to prove you are masculine. It just didn't work."
Choosing to go transsexual is not something one does lightly. First, there must be at least three months of therapy in which the therapist intensely probes the reasons for the choice to make sure they are for real. Locally, that therapy can be obtained at the Persad Center in Bloomfield.
If that approval is obtained, the candidate must undertake a "real life test" of at least one year. That means that a man must begin dressing and living the life of a woman - at work, with family. He may be fired, face divorce or rebuffs from parents ("What did we do wrong?") and public prejudice. A legal change of name also is involved.
Persad has services available to work with employers in such situations. If top management agrees, things usually can go smoothly - that is, other employees will go along if the company policy is clear.
What about going to the restroom? "That always comes up," one male-to-female said. "Most of us avoid a restroom like a plague because we are afraid of the reaction of others, even though with stalls there should be no difficulty. But you don't want to face someone becoming hysterical about it."
During all this period, male-to-female people are taking hormone treatments to accentuate feminine characteristics and electrolysis treatments to eliminate body hair. "Let me tell you that you have to be serious about it to go through the pain of 200 hours of that treatment in your bodily pores," said one. Women changing to men undergo hormone treatments to suppress their breasts and to grow beards. Hormonal treatments, starting at $100 a month, must be continued for life. At any point, the gatekeeper therapists can halt the process. After the year-long "real life test," if the therapist agrees, the candidate can go for surgery by a plastic surgeon. It can be done locally, but many prefer to go elsewhere, with Montreal especially popular.
I got estimates as high as $11,000 for surgery and $15,000 for electrolysis, meaning $50,000 for the entire male-to-female process. The female-to-male process generally costs less, closer to $30,000.
Clearly, no one spends that much money lightly. Why? why? why?
Peace of mind, say people in these categories - becoming the gender that their urgings, their pain all along told them was their destiny. Divorce frequently follows, but it's not always the case. And in many instances, good relations continue with ex-spouses.
The cross-dresser with whom I had lunch said that many wives of cross-dressers report that acquiescing to a husband's penchants releases tensions in his life and in the home. Relations with some relatives can be more difficult. On the brighter side here, Transpitt was organized in 1983 for transvestites/cross-dressers, male-to-females and female-to-males, with about 70 members (of an estimated 500 in Allegheny County). Moreover, the transsexuals have also formed their own much smaller group.
Pittsburgh's 1990 city ordinance outlawing discrimination on the basis of sexual preference has been expanded to cover transgendered people. "But you aren't protected if you go outside the city limits of Pittsburgh," one transsexual lamented. Pittsburgh police and EMS personnel are praised for sympathetic care in two recent affairs involving cross-dressers - one the treatment of a vehicle accident victim; the other a carload of out-of-towners unwittingly driving on the East Busway.
And in the past two years all the groups, including gays and lesbians, have begun coordinating endeavors, such as launching a diversity project to promote education and justice efforts. For each group, this has meant overcoming elements of prejudice toward the others. Example: Two years ago the Gay & Lesbian Community Club began accepting transgendered people as members. I suggest that the larger community and particularly religious leaders need to enlarge their anti-discrimination focus.
Beyond the anger expressed in many of my interviews, I recall especially the poignancy of my cross-dresser luncheon companion, whose eyes misted as he said:
"I served for years in a war [Vietnam] with which I didn't necessarily agree, but I wanted to do my duty for my country. And now I find that the Constitution doesn't protect my rights."
Clarke Thomas is a Post-Gazette senior editor.