Packing an anxious thirst, Munch wandered into the new Tambellini's in Station Square and asked for a Labatt's. It came served in one of those tall, slender, effeminate glasses, and it was accompanied by a second, smaller glass, into which the server deposited an invoice.
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Tambellini's in Station Square is open daily for lunch and dinner, at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday and at noon, weekends. 412-232-3800.
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Somewhere upon a time in America, perhaps with the advent of the 8 billion-volume Paperwork Reduction Act of 1982, bartenders stopped taking your money without first providing itemized accounts of your drinking habits. But in the case of Tambellini's at Station Square, I think they just give you a bill rather than say aloud, "$3.95 for a Labatt's."
Unless I'm sitting in an overstuffed chair listening to live jazz in the Central Park West lobby of the Hotel Costa Plente, or, you know, at a hockey game, I don't want to hear $3.95 for a Labatt's.
Still, Tambellini's at Station Square seemed an intriguing and fresh destination for Munch's regular gastrolympics, and it was resolved Munch would return should more than $4 ever make itself available. Toward that end, in an attempt to make a reservation, Munch phoned the Tambellini's on Route 51, where Munch had lunched so successfully so often on delicious fish and macaroni at ridiculously reasonable prices, or had I phoned the Tambellini's on Seventh Downtown, where precise and delicious entrees are prepared with reliability?
In any case, Munch was told that Tambellini's as Munch knew it was not associated with the Tambellini's at Station Square, and it would soon enough be clear why.
The Station Square location might eventually approach the accomplishments of its namesake, but for now it has no sense of itself.
It has an extensive wine list that includes a $165 Perrier-Jouet Fleur Champagne, but provides paper napkins wrapped with a tiny paper binder. It presents Alaskan King Crab for $26.95, but doesn't bother with tablecloths. It wants $4 or $5 for a beer, but won't provide a separate salad fork or bread plates.
Some portion of those inconsistencies could be overlooked were the food in any way special, and a nice platter of traditional appetizers like fried zucchini and chicken fingers with an especially delicate coating signaled that special it might be, but once we devoured the wings, we crashed.
Highly uninteresting salads were served with an indifferent Italian house dressing, followed by entrees that were disappointing at best. Munch had the breaded seafood platter ($14.95), a generous helping of shrimp, scallops and scrod, each creature with a taste indistinguishable from the next and thoroughly walloped by the cocktail sauce. My baked potato needed to be buttered using a series of tiny plastic containers, which always make Munch feel as though a game of Operation at home might have been preferable.
Friend of Munch had anticipated a spicy treat by ordering the Cajun mahi-mahi, but reported a similar blandness. The entrees selected by the remainder of our party produced similar shrugs, though no overt hostility.
The potential remains for the Station Square Tambellini's to thrive in this spot. The room has a large bar area that accommodates live music, and its floor-to-ceiling glass gives the patrons a not-unpleasant feeling that they're in some kind of bizarre terrarium, especially as they watch that portion of the citizenry showing up for "Tony and Tina's Wedding" next door.
But the place has to rethink some things. It charges an extra $1 to substitute a side of pasta for your potato, and an extra $4.95 if you want a different sauce with that. Maybe if they jack the Labatt's up to $4.25. No wait, don't do that.
Start with some fresh ground pepper. Munch doesn't want to drop $80 on two dinners only to long for the pepper grinder on the kitchen table at home.
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