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Friday, July 14, 2000
Like anyone with too much time on his hands, I'm concerned about the feud between "CBS Early Show" anchor Bryant Gumbel and weatherman Mark McEwen.
Given all the trouble we black men go through with our complicated handshakes, it seems a shame that two millionaires would stop speaking to each other because one uttered under his breath that the other was a "[expletive] idiot" on live television.
But that's how it is, sometimes.
Two Wednesdays ago, Gumbel, who can't make it through a news story without being described as "arrogant" by someone with half his talent, whispered the vulgar epithet after McEwen used his weather spot to talk about the latest contestant to get kicked off the island in "Survivor."
Instead of warning the folks in Boise that a storm was headed their way, McEwen displayed his encyclopedic knowledge of tribal strategies used on CBS' most hyped program in years. Gumbel, as the struggling morning show's anchor-in-chief and designated scapegoat, was not amused.
But into every drama one plot twist must fall.
When Gumbel let fly a profanity over a mike he believed to be turned off, the Family Research Council's Robert Knight, whom he'd just interviewed, thought he was the " idiot" the anchor was referring to.
It was a natural assumption. They'd just completed a contentious exchange where Knight, applauding the Supreme Court's decision upholding the rights of the Boy Scouts to exclude gays from the organization, got on Gumbel's nerves.
Later that day, the conservative demanded that CBS fire the haughty Gumbel and force him to apologize, two things that weren't about to happen until the moon dripped red with blood.
But elves at the Early Show, who despise their imperious boss as much as conservatives do, quickly set the record straight: It wasn't Knight whom Gumbel intended to dis that morning, it was McEwen. Gumbel simply went public with contempt that was anything but a secret to longtime watchers of the show.
This week, McEwen disappeared. Was he on vacation or has he been "disappeared" like a Soviet dissident in Siberia? A series of weathermen from all over the country have filled in for him. Ever true to his grumpy principles, Gumbel grimaced every time he mentioned his weatherman's name. He's never been one to pretend he misses someone when he doesn't.
There hasn't been an official announcement that McEwen has quit the show, if, in fact he has. His return next week is bound to be awkward. As it is, they have little in common except color and a penchant for insincere smiles first thing in the morning.
Knowing that they also dislike each other has to be good for ratings. Folks accustomed to ignoring the morning shows altogether will tune in just to see them glaring at each other.
No balled fist falling lightly upon the other's as a sign of friendship or respect will pass between them. Forget "the pound" and complex handshakes ending in sprinkling gestures requiring dexterity only Houdini among white men could match.
I still remember the cold looks Willard Scott, the "Today Show's" former weatherman, gave Gumbel after a memo he wrote questioning his professionalism leaked out. Gumbel did everything he could to engage the popular weatherman in happy talk, but the wig-wearing Willard considered any gesture from him suspect after that.
It was brilliant television. The show's subtext vibrated with subterranean tension and barely disguised hostility. People tuned in regularly just to see the fireworks. They wanted to know one thing: Was Bryant really evil, or was he simply playing evil for the cameras?
The Gumbel/McEwen war doesn't have the intrinsic drama of the Gumbel/Scott imbroglio of the late '80s or the Gumbel/Pauley, Gumbel/Letterman or Gumbel/Couric dust-ups of the early and mid-'90s, but the anchor is doing his best to remind us that the man behind those classic feuds is still with us. Any gimmick in a storm when your ratings are in the basement. Gumbel may be "arrogant," but he isn't stupid.
All of this reminds me of what one of our greatest urban philosophers once said when Los Angeles was burning all around him and America was on the verge of racial nervous collapse: "Can't we all just get along?"
For the sake of great morning television, let's hope Bryant Gumbel has better things to do than take Rodney King's advice.
Tony Norman's email: tnorman@post-gazette.com