Defensive end Kimo von Oelhoffen clomped around the Steelers locker room, lugging an ailing right foot imprisoned in a gargantuan device befitting a scofflaw rather than a sprained ankle.
Befitting an SUV tire rather than a guy's busted wheel.
"Kimo, pay your parking tickets, man," teased safety Brent Alexander.
"They lost the key for the Boot," von Oelhoffen replied.
Believe it or not, von Oelhoffen claimed the Denver ... er, Pittsburgh protective boot on his ailing right foot was only a size 15, "kind of average for these big boys."
Somewhere underneath the gray and blue encasement, his high ankle sprain was the subject of low comedy late last week around the Steelers' South Side complex.
Funny, but the club's starting right defensive end was feeling better. He was seriously talking about possibly returning Sunday against the Bills in Buffalo.
If not von Oelhoffen, then rookie Rodney Bailey will start, three weeks after he made his regular-season debut against Jacksonville and perhaps the finest offensive left tackle in the NFL -- Tony Boselli.
But don't give the boot to von Oelhoffen, an eighth-year veteran, just yet.
"Oh, right now, I'm getting ready," von Oelhoffen said before he and the Steelers got a three-day weekend. "It's coming on a lot faster than they thought. In fact, I'll probably start running on it a couple of days."
Von Oelhoffen is a stout fellow at 6 feet 3, 297 pounds and a converted nose tackle, a position he started at last season and his previous six seasons in Cincinnati. He made his debut at defensive end Sept. 9, which lasted all of two plays.
Von Oelhoffen got entangled with Boselli, then with Jaguars running back Fred Taylor, then with a teammate while making the tackle on Taylor after a 4-yard gain. Von Oelhoffen felt his right ankle buckle. He exited with a high ankle sprain.
He had one before, in his left ankle, in 1997. He missed just three games as a result. This Sunday would mark his third week with this one.
"At first, you're kind of mad," he said of the injury. "All that hard work; now you're going to miss an important game, one of the most important games of the season -- the opener." Then the physical pain set in.
He has ridden a stationary bike, toiled on a stair machine, performed squats and lunges and whatever exercises or weightlifting the medical staff allowed. He has waited and worked through the week of the postponed Cleveland game and the open date week. If he can't play Sunday, he has confidence in Bailey.
"What is he, 23 years old?" von Oelhoffen said of Bailey. "First game in the NFL against the best player out there? He did a good job. He made some plays.
"He studies the game. It's hard to find young guys like that who want to learn and work. The biggest thing with a young player is indecision. It's not that they're not smart. There's just so much that goes on, unless you've gone through it 100 times, it's just ... 'Wow.' And he takes off, too. The quickest 290-pounder I've seen in a long time."
The biggest problem Bailey had at training camp was leaving. Loading his car the night before camp broke, he accidentally locked his only set of keys in his new BMW.
"Got three keys now," Bailey said with a smile. "We're real self-conscious about it now. You go through something like that, you have experience."
The Steelers picked Bailey, a 6-3, 281-pound defensive end from Ohio State, in the sixth round of the draft in April. Bailey, a Cleveland native, graduated in 3 1/2 years with a degree in communications and 17 1/2 sacks in 34 games. He has since added about 15 pounds. "I don't think I've lost much of my agility, either," he said.
Bailey impressed Steelers coaches with his ability and his drive.
"Our deal was, we were going to play Rodney no matter what happened to Kimo," defensive line coach John Mitchell said. "We feel like we've got six good defensive linemen we can roll in and out.
"It was not easy when you've got to go up against Boselli, a great football player. But Rodney held his own. He's going to get better. I expect him to get better."
So does Bailey, even if it means starting in von Oelhoffen's place for a game or two.
"We all hope Kimo comes back healthy as fast as he possibly can," said Bailey, his short dreadlocks a contrast to the wavy hair of von Oelhoffen, who moments later was throwing his right arm around Bailey's shoulders in the locker room. "But I've been saying it a lot, and it's true: You're one play away. You can be called on at anytime. That's pretty much the way I prepare, my mind-set. That's why it's real important to be ready.
"I just want to be at my best, regardless of whether I start or not. When I go out on the field, no matter how many plays I play, I just want to be a major contributor."
You could call him a key contributor, but both right defensive ends probably have heard enough car jokes already.
Von Oelhoffen takes steps toward return 
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