From MarchBadness.org: "Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett has made it to the final four of March Badness, a national online contest among the 'most outrageous, radical, out of touch right-wingers' of the past year.
"To get to the national semi-finals, dubbed the 'Infamous Four,' Corbett had to upset radical right-wing powerhouse and No. 1 seed Congresswoman Michele Bachmann from Minnesota. Corbett, ranked No. 9, also beat U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, in the 'Not-So-Sweet-Sixteen.'
"Each politician was chosen for an outrageous comment they made in the past year. Corbett was chosen for defending his party's attempt to outdo Virginia with an even more outrageous transvaginal ultrasound bill. When he was asked if he thought the bill goes too far to make a woman look at the ultrasound image, Corbett said, 'You can't make anybody watch, OK? Because you just have to close your eyes.' Corbett didn't address how a woman can ignore the probe inside her."
Kim's getting burned out
The Borowitz Report: "PYONGYANG -- Saying that he could 'no longer keep up the punishing pace of sabre rattling seven days a week,' North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un said today that beginning this month he will take weekends off from vowing to incinerate the world.
"After the official Korean Central News Agency released a revised April Threat Schedule showing that Kim's declarations of war and doomsday ultimatums would be limited to Monday through Friday, North Korea's Supreme Leader explained his decision to make his weekends threat-free: 'Dad always told me that you have to pace yourself in this job. The biggest danger isn't the United States -- it's burnout.'
"Kim said that he made his decision over the past weekend, after he issued his 49th official statement threatening to engulf the mainland U.S. in a nuclear Armageddon: 'I was in the middle of saying "infernal sea of fire," and I kind of realized, hey, I'm just phoning it in. And I never want to be that guy.' "
Lefties on campus
Via Atlantic Wire: John Podhoretz in the New York Post writes about academia's attraction to radical lefties. He focused on Columbia and NYU paying former Weatherman Kathy Boudin to teach students. Ms. Boudin spent two-plus decades in prison for assisting in an armed robbery during which three people were killed.
Mr. Podhoretz commented on "the glamor -- there's no other word for it -- that attaches in some quarters to Boudin's red-diaper-baby-to-radical-revolutionary, put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is psychopathology. In those quarters -- quarters that inevitably feature quads and dorms and annual tuition larger than the nation's median income -- the blood on her hands is a feature, not a bug. It's a selling point, not something from which to recoil in disgust and horror."
On Twitter, Mr. Podhoretz engaged with those who thought Ms. Boudin had paid her debt to society and should be allowed to contribute to it. Responding to Mr. Podhoretz's wish that Ms. Boudin "rot in hell," a former Obama staffer tweeted, "[I'm not] sure 'can rot in hell' is how our system of justice works. Will need to check with the Constitution, one sec."
Thumbs up on death
Film critic Roger Ebert died last week. The KGB Report blog posted some of what he had written about death in his autobiography, "Life Itself: A Memoir": "I know it is coming, and I do not fear it, because I believe there is nothing on the other side of death to fear. I hope to be spared as much pain as possible on the approach path. I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as the same state. I am grateful for the gifts of intelligence, love, wonder and laughter. You can't say it wasn't interesting. My lifetime's memories are what I have brought home from the trip. I will require them for eternity no more than that little souvenir of the Eiffel Tower I brought home from Paris. ...
"Raised as a Roman Catholic, I internalized the social values of that faith and still hold most of them, even though its theology no longer persuades me. I have no quarrel with what anyone else subscribes to; everyone deals with these things in his own way, and I have no truths to impart. All I require of a religion is that it be tolerant of those who do not agree with it. I know a priest whose eyes twinkle when he says, 'You go about God's work in your way, and I'll go about it in His.' "
Greg Victor (email@example.com)