In retirement, I have become a swimmer. That requires a proper swim suit. Which my wife bought me, and then recoiled in horror.
A poll announced earlier this month confirmed what we already knew — that Americans are in a growing state of rage.
(Don’t tell his supporters but this column is reverse psychology.) HEY FOLKS, THIS LIBERAL MEDIA GUY THINKS DONALD IS THE BEST THING EVER.
Many think the solution to more gun violence is more guns. We are all safer, right? Absolutely, as long as the Tooth Fairy has a pistol.
Where were you, in 1977, when the first Star Wars movie came out? Well, that was a galaxy far, far away.
Bold prediction: Hillary Clinton will be elected president next year. That’s just one leading indicator of womankind’s advancement.
The traditions are joyful window-dressing to the miracle of the story. In other words, Jesus is not offended by a lack of snow.
I don’t want climate change doom from scientific know-it-alls. I want the luxury of blissful denial. I want to become a conservative.
Trump keeps transgressing the limits of human decency; Cruz wants to ensure that terrorists can get lethal weapons. Life is a carnival.
I am often contacted by readers lacking any obvious sense of humor. Sadly, they take everything I write literally.
Common sense suggests we defeat Islamic terrorism with the help of decent Muslims who want to be our friends.
The British slogan that never got to promote wartime sang-froid is subject to endless jokey variations today. We were once amused.
Much of modern living makes life worse. Exhibit A: Fitbit, the intrusive device that disables the body’s natural state (such as, repose).
The CNBC debate reminded me a bit of Oscar Wilde’s famous quip about fox hunting — the unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable.
Breakfast all day sounds like a bit more than we should bite off.
If Jobs was a jerk, at least he was a successful one.
The Playboy cover-up seems more than just a bare reaction to the times.
He’s dying for a chance to return to Pittsburgh, but maybe not real soon.
Our nation, so long the world’s moral conscience, has not shown as much public sympathy toward these refugees as might have been expected.
At the GOP presidential debates, most of the candidates displayed political outlooks suitable for children’s story. Like these ...
Hamilton’s the wrong man to downgrade on American currency.
What makes Sherlock Holmes so enduringly popular? It’s elementary to any reader.
Trump’s success is the sorry result the GOP elite deserves.
NYC officials need more of a grin-and-bear-it attitude about Times Square’s topless women.
They arrive and cause a commotion that never stops — until they leave, and a deafening silence sets in.
In these politically correct times, people go way overboard in denouncing what’s PC.
We send an open letter to the gods on behalf of the mighty Donald Trump.
Hiking in the Adirondacks, I made one false move and, boom, a wounded ankle. What ensued was a parable for our times.
It’s no secret how passwords can drive a man crazy.
When the heat gets hot, the men get grilling.
Court’s timing on gay marriage decision couldn’t have been better.
Lewis Carroll’s Wonderland has nothing on modern America’s curious state.
There’s money to be made in cleaning up highways, if only for a minute.
Women’s form of Viagra will need its own warnings.
FIFA indictments just might kick off much wider sports investigations.
Memorial Day brings grim reminders of the what’s wrong with the present.
As founding president and sole member of the American Society of Curmudgeons, it falls to me to look askance at various societal changes.
Deflategate reminds us how juvenile this fascination with the NFL really is.
As a break from the ever-depressing news cycle, let us play the philosopher this week by considering Life with a capital L.
Semi-retirement feels like a good time to watch bad movies.
Not to be outdone by The New York Times, it is time to file my own report about the situation in drought-racked California.
Warning: This column’s topic has been known to cause drowsiness in some readers, who are advised not to use heavy machinery after exposure.
Iranian deal is too sensible to pass up, as even idiots should understand.
This stirring of old resentments, the rekindling of the culture war that seemed lost, amazes those of us with calendars.
The Confederate flag is not always a sign of racism. But on a license plate in an American state? Texas authorities are right to say no way.
You can sort of go home again, especially when you have so many.
As some gray-haired readers will recognize, the loneliness of the long-distance grandparent is rooted in a sad fact.
If the continent of Australia were a work of calligraphy, the southern island state of Tasmania might be its period.
Australia has plenty of sentimental pleasures, in addition to bars.
Carry a stick and don’t sing when hiking through Australia.